How to Find the One: Part 2

In Part I we looked at the best way that I know of to meet the One: the Program of Three. This dating method is challenging, but it’s truly empowering. It allows you to be long-sighted and keep your eye on the prize: a lasting fulfilling relationship that’s just right for you. It helps you break through your Deadly Dating Patterns, frees you from the “three-date rule,” and keeps you protected from all the scenarios designed to break your heart. Of course, there are definitely obstacles to creating a Program of Three, but I’ve helped thousands of women do this already, and you’re no different. You can do it, too! And this article will show you how.

I can hear you already. “Dr. Diana,” you might be thinking, “I’m still trying to find ONE man to date. How can I find three?” First of all, listen up, ladies: there are more than 41 million single men just in the U.S. right now and different ones are coming on the market all the time! And every year, there are new online dating sites that bring in whole new crops to choose from. There are men out there. No matter what your age, weight or “problem” is.
What if you have special challenges because you are African-American…over 45…a single mom… or so highly successful you scare men away? In my book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love I devote an entire chapter to these groups. In it, you’ll find the latest research that dispels many of the urban legends that we have about finding a lasting love relationship.

In fact, almost every love mentoring student I ever had who was willing to consistently work the principles, no matter what her challenges or deadly dating patterns were, has been able to create a successful Dating Program of Three. And to help you on your journey, I want you take advantage of my free ongoing support. You can learn EXACTLY how to find and attract the one, deepen commitment and much much more by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE! Click Here to get started now.

It’s not as hard as it seems. Drew, a 42-year old single executive with weight issues, was the highest bidder at a charity auction where a mentoring session with me over lunch was the prize. Here’s what she emailed me about a year later:

I particularly thought the point of ‘dating three guys at once’ was amusing at first, but then you know…. it worked. Even though at times I knew some guy wasn’t going to be the love of my life, it was still a diversion from getting involved with another guy too fast before I knew it was the right thing. I think this is the best advice ever and have passed it on to several of my friends. Last summer, I joined a large online dating site and ended up meeting a really nice guy, although at first not necessarily what I thought I was looking for. We get along great, have tons in common, and it’s by far the most mature and healthy relationship I think I have ever been in. We got engaged this past October while on vacation in Florence. He proposed in front of the Fountain of Neptune in the Piazza della Signoria. We are planning a wedding for next June on Martha’s Vineyard.

When you begin dating three men at once, you’re shifting the balance of power to be more equitable. Starting now, take a stand for yourself, a stand that says you deserve a great partner. Take your time, learn what is possible in a relationship, and start playing an active role in choosing who you’re with. Don’t wait to be chosen. Now, with all the online and offline possibilities you have an abundance of men at arm’s reach, you have the ability to pick and choose for yourself.

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of the new highly acclaimed relationship advice book “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” and the best-seller “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book). Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.