“Dr. D, I am in my 50s and feeling it. Aches, pains, and a dreary outlook. Not to mention jowls and wrinkles growing at an enormously fast rate, every time I look in the mirror. Needless to say, this is not conducive to starting online dating. Which is what all my best friends are urging me to do. How can I get more self-confident at this age?” Dania in New York
Dania, first of all I want you to know that Love Mentoring and, in particular, what I call Body Love Diamond Self work has helped thousands of women in their 50s and 60’s and beyond to become more self-confident!
In fact, one of my current new dating coaches got married, herself, for the first time at age 65.
Here are a couple of tips that will help you become more self-confident:
Tip #1: Not all older guys want young chicks. In fact most of them don’t.
Younger women often come complete with sexual performance demands, wanting kids and preferring a more active night life. Meanwhile guys in their 50s and beyond can be struggling with ED issues; are often completely done with having children; and want a more settled companion who will watch a bit of TV at night with them!
Tip #2: Your body image is based on the neural nets, or brain activity associated with it, and that activity is in constant state of flux!
As I show in my latest book, The Diamond Self Secret, there is no set image of yourself that is a stable structure sitting in your brain. In fact, you can deliberately modify your identity and the image you have of your body.
Instead of being critical and down on yourself about your age or your weight, you can find and create a self-confident image that gets you in touch with your vitality, your energy, and the amazing youth that your body has available to it right now. Yes—right now. What we think about ourselves has a huge impact on how our body functions. If you use what I call a Diamond Self identity, (a deliberate and loving self-image) that is youthful, our bodies function better and become younger! It can be as easy as giving yourself a fun, validating nickname.
In fact, Anissa, one of the clients in our Love Mentoring program created a body love Diamond Self nickname, Saucy Minx, and she bought a few Victoria’s Secret goodies to go along with that name. Here’s what Anissa has to say, “Thinking about being the Saucy Minx as I put on my new lingerie and get ready for a date changes how I feel about myself. It makes me feel and act like I am did in my twenties and it is soooo much fun!”
So, Dania, I want you to consider giving yourself a playful body love Diamond Self nickname, using words like:
Young, playful, fun, alive, 20-something, youthful, blossoming, sweet, pretty, adorable, darling, silly, flexible, dewy, innocent cherub
Have fun with this!!! Even if you feel ridiculous with some of the words, play around with them and see if they speak to you. Once you have your nickname, do a little shopping and dress the part. Enjoy!
If you want some help or have trouble doing this alone, take advantage of a free consult by phone or Skype with one of my expert Love Mentors®.
Chances are you will find yourself dating like a teenager all over again, but with the self-confident wisdom of your years. The women who are your age in our Love Mentoring program are having a ball with dating and feeling like the Prom Queens they never were! You can too!
Sending you love,