Dating Advice for Women Series
Today I want to zero in on how one simple step can change your dating and love–life big time.
You may be packing a few extra pounds or even more weight. You may be feeling a bit wrinkled, worn and old. You may be burnt out from the dating scene. But it truly does not matter! You can take a simple step, empower yourself in a fresh new way and create an awesome romance. Let’s talk about ‘Sally,” one of the women who works with Tamara Green in our Love Mentoring® program (our specialized dating coaching). She is about 50lbs overweight and in her 50’s. Although she has not lost any weight and her age certainly has not changed, she took the simple step I am about to share with you and her whole life changed: When Sally started Love Mentoring® she was not dating at all. Now almost every man she meets asks her out, she’s so appealing. In the last year, four men have asked her for an exclusive relationship. Sally is someone who had trouble getting even one date. Now she’s a dating queen!
(OK. I know this is inspirational to you. And if you want a powerful Love Mentor ally like Tamara to help you transform your love life like Sally did, click here and get your own free 40 minute Love Mentoring® session. Now back to Sally.)
When Sally started Love Mentoring®, she would say things like, “I’m too unattractive to men”, “Men want thinner women”, “I’m too old”, “No man wants a woman with a health problem.” In other words, she was very focused on what was wrong or unattractive about her. This kind of negative self talk is what tends to shackle you, hold you back from getting out there, meeting people and fulfilling your dreams of companionship and passionate love. The awesome simple step Sally made was to turn this negative self talk into positive inner comments about herself. This 360º turn is what completely transformed her love life. Sally’s Love Mentor, Tamara, explained to her that her negative self-doubting thoughts came from a negative identity–which had to do with being old, fat, and so on. So Sally needed to create an identity that was beautiful, fantastic and very alluring to men. We call this the Diamond Self Identity.
Sally used a new Diamond Self process that can help you turn your negative thoughts about yourself into positive one. It involves two steps:
- Ask your best friends to tell you what is most wonderful about you–why they love you, why they love to be around you. What is beautiful and attractive about you. Write down their answers.
- Ask them to help you create a new Diamond Self nickname based on what they perceive about you.
For example, Tamara told Sally that she had a very magnetic personality. Sally’s best friend told her that she was very curvy and reminded her of a luscious Venus figure from antiquity. Tamara and Sally came up with a nickname that was Luscious and Alluring Venus (LAV for short)!!! You can even hear the difference in Sally’s voice when she plays around with that nickname for herself. LAV has a great energy to her!
Take a few moments and call a friend or two and ask them what is really attractive about you. Then ask them to help you jot down nicknames you might give yourself. Don’t be shy! Think Aphrodite, Queen Latifah, Luscious Liz, Amazing Grace. Just free associate to the wonderful things your friends say about you.
If you do feel shy or stuck in using this process or find that it is too hard for you to do on your own, you can arrange a free 40 minute consult by phone or Skype with one of my awesome Love Mentors®– just to help you get going with your positive self talk and Diamond Self nickname. These sessions are not only fun, and empowering, they can be true game changers. We even had one woman who was able to get engaged right after her free intro session–because she identified and got over her negative self-sabotaging thoughts in regard to her relationship with her boyfriend! Just click here to set up your free consult with a Love Mentor.
Sally used her positive shift to give herself a makeover so that she looks younger, feels younger and, of course, feels so much better about herself. Sally used to avoid mirrors. Now when she looks in the mirror, she is pleasantly surprised by how good she looks. Now that she has accessed her Diamond Self, she operates from that identity in everything that she does. Sally’s amazing. She uses every opportunity to meet men. One day, she was walking into a restaurant and this man was walking in at the same time. Seeing that he was alone, she very brightly said, “Hi, how are you today?!”. The surprised man warmly smiled back and said, “Much better now!” He quickly asked if they could sit together. They had a great meal together, laughing and telling stories of their travels. They have now been dating for 4 months, and he’s very smitten with her too.
This can happen for you. Yes, you. You can instantly boost and build your self confidence and build self esteem. And find a real love match that is just right for you. So please begin working on this simple step for yourself. Call your friends, jot down some nicknames. And if you want a powerful Love Mentor ally to help you, click here and get your free 40 minute Love Mentoring® session.
Wishing you love,
Dr. Diana, The Love Mentor
Love Mentoring® & Relationship Advice from My Heart to Yours
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling dating advice book, “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love and dating. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.
