One of my savvy readers sent in the following hilarious dating story from the front lines. Kudos to her! Read on–it is hysterical!!
My Hilarious Dating Story: A Fling with Don Draper
When I first read about the Flame Out concept, from Love in 90 Days, I thought Dr. Diana was describing the begining of every dating relationship I’d ever experienced in my adult life. This pattern was followed by Scraps. I would put up with anything. I used to call this “love at first sight.” I had no idea the rush I was feeling was actually anxiety and not love at all.
I was finally able to learn my lesson by employing the dating program of 3, letting my diamond self shine through, and by waiting to sleep with a man I will call Don Draper. He was rich, charming, romantic, handsome and mysterious, and looked just like Don Draper, the womanizing ad executive on the HBO series Mad Men. Before I uncovered my diamond self, I would have kept all those intense feelings to myself, but I decided to make light of the situation and let my sassy sense of humor shine through. My diamond self always has a witty remark and stays in control because she’s just cute and sweet enough to pull off an attitude. Whenever Don would try to overpower me with his charms, get me to sleep with him, avoid my questions and remain aloof, I would say something silly to lighten the mood like, “Oh Don Draper, who are you, REALLY?” and change the subject. Once he mentioned the 3 date rule, which amused me too. I would later find out he wasn’t joking at all.
We had 4 lovely, passionate and romantic dates together over the holidays. I felt like we were movie stars, each moment was perfect. We shared the same wry sense of humor, we had both attended the same university on the same academic scholarship and we both had successful corporate careers with tons of flexiblity. We both loved dancing and had the same taste in underground music. He took me to wonderful restaurants, insisted on paying for everything and loved dressing up as my date for my holiday functions. He let me drive his new BMW and played all my favorite songs while we kissed at one of his homes in front of the fireplace. I gushed about him to my close friends and family, saying I had met the “one.” I even called my psychic, who agreed there was a lot of “light” around the situation, but she had a strong warning. She said, “go slow in dating this one and it will all work out in the end.” She was right to warn me with this dating advice. He had avoided introducing me to any of his friends and refused to add me on Facebook.
Don was always dashing and kind, until our last evening together, when I saw a flash of his true temperament. It was new years eve and I hadn’t seen or heard from him in over a week. Even though I was away at a friends cabin skiing, it felt like the longest week ever, just waiting for him to call. I tried to busy myself contacting the other men I was seeing, but I only wanted to hear from Don. He said that while he was away on holiday he never used his phone. I believe any man traveling alone would be calling or texting the woman he cared for. I hadn’t heard anything more from him than “Merry Christmas Sweetie” via text message on the 25th. As soon as he said hello to me on our 4th and final date, he had the nerve to say he had missed me, looked into my eyes and kissed me deeply. My BS detector went off immediately. I was on high alert the rest of the night.
We had a lovely time dancing and drinking at an elaborate masquerade New Years Eve party. As the evening ended it became obvious I would never find my own cab home, so he had his personal driver pick us up and bring us to his place, were he promised to cook for me. I was starving and every restaurant we passed was either closed or filled to overflowing. When we arrived at his house, he immediately tried to undress me. The old me would have given into his passionate advances after such a romantic night, but my diamond self held him to his promise to cook after a long night of drinking. He was so irritated with me that he flicked water in my face as if I were a naughty cat. I turned on my heel to leave and walk home in my heels in the winter snow, but he held me back, apologizing profusely.
We agreed to have a heart to heart talk. I told him that I liked him very much but I wanted to take things slow, get to know him and have fun. I admitted I was extra cautious after a nasty relationship with an abusive man. I felt like he and I were speaking different languages. He said that I was obviously looking for something serious, to which I replied that I wanted to keep things light. I told him I wasn’t interested in infatuation or flings, but I wasn’t ready for a boyfriend yet either. After we ate it was very late and storming outside. As he brought me to his bedroom I asked for pajamas to spend the night in and soap to remove the mask I had painted on my eyes for our event. I tried to enjoy the rest of our night together, continuing to kiss, flirt and share favorite videos and music online, but never letting him get far. I kept a respectful distance but he was obviously insulted that we weren’t having sex. Instead of going to brunch as planned the next day, he insisted he was jet-lagged from his trip and brought me home.
One week later I wrote him an email to ask why he hadn’t contacted me. He waited yet another week to respond and tell me that I was fun, but not fun enough. He wrote to say he had never heard any woman say the kinds of things I had said to him and that I was emasculating. At the end of his short message he said that he respected me. I was totally bewildered. I could not believe my eyes, reading and re-reading his email over and over. I felt such a strong connection and attraction to this man, was he really so angry or offended that we hadn’t had sex after only 4 dates? I let all of my closest friends read it. They high-fived me for escaping a total player without putting out or getting hurt.
Admittedly, I remained confused for a few months and wondered if he would ever contact me to apologize and reignite things. I even sent him a text and an email, just to see how he was doing and ask if he wanted to chat. He never responded. My friends were right, he was just a player with all the right lines. It all clicked when I saw this hilarious skit starring John Hamm as Don Draper, “How to pick up Women” It’s pretty funny… and sadly very effective with the ladies! Thanks Dr. Diana for having my back! Enjoy this skit!
Wishing you love,