Dear Dr. Diana, I just broke up with my boyfriend and was thinking about dating. But now that I am over 40, every time I looked in the mirror I saw another gray hair, another wrinkle. It got to the point that I was seeing my mother’s face as my own when I looked in the mirror. Then I did the Discovering the Hidden Beauty in Your Face exercise from your book, The Diamond Self Secret! Now when I look in the mirror, I see the twinkle, the sparkle in my eyes, and I actually see a lot of beauty there, a strength and loving presence that I was not noticed before! Thanks from the bottom of my heart! ~Kali
Chances are, you have never really seen the hidden beauty in your face.
You have missed the symmetry, the sparkle that comes from the depths of your eyes, the way your eyebrows frame those eyes. The little crinkles of pure happiness that come from your mouth when you giggle or laugh out loud. Imagine looking at your face like a good archetypal mother or a loving partner would see it. This is the Discovering the Hidden Beauty in Your Face exercise.
Every day before you brush your teeth, spend three minutes REALLY looking at your face in the mirror. Look for beauty. Look for character. Look for the twinkle, the sparkle of their sou. Look at the person in the mirror AS IF YOU HAVE JUST FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THEM. What do you notice? Do you see how your beloved changes from day to day?
Do you see the absolute perfection of the imperfections in that face? Do you see the hidden beauty? The ineffable presence of consciousness that is deep in the eyes? Keep looking—it is all there.
Here is what happened to Debra, a nurse in our Love Mentoring program who used the Hidden Beauty exercise to build self-esteem and transform her dating life.
When I hit my forties, I really stopped looking at my face in the mirror. I didn’t want to see aging at work, eroding my skin and dragging down my face. I would just slather on some moisturizer and lip gloss and rush out the door. When my mentor gave me this exercise, I was feeling afraid to actually do it. But the first morning I truly looked at my face in a loving way, I saw the laugh lines that look so great around my eyes. And my hazel green eyes are well, actually, gorgeous. And kind. Very kind. So funny to say all that! The weird thing is I am making more eye contact with people, including the guys I am dating! And they are calling me back more than ever before.
As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. So is the face. Your face. Look closely next time around at the mirror, look for the true hidden beauty in your face and you will see it.
Wishing you love and inner peace,