Today’s relationship tips blog is written by one of our expert dating coaches, Karen Holland. Karen shares five relationship tips for how to communicate about a touchy subject (without triggering a fight).
1. Soften Your Start Up! — If you go on the attack (or you start with a manipulative comment to get a certain outcome), you will get met with resistance or defensiveness. And wind up mired in conflict. Examples of how to soften start up:“Honey,something’s been bothering me. Can we talk for a moment?” “I know when we’ve talked about this in the past it hasn’t gone well, but I’d like it to be different this time.” “Hey, is now a good time to bring something up? I’ve been bothered about something and just thought we should clear the air.” Before we go on to the next four relationship tips I want you to take advantage of Dr. Diana’s FREE support. Sign up now for her Dating Tips and Relationship Advice Newsletter. It’s got fresh information and more dating and relationship tips you need to make your love that much better.
Practice Making Requests and No Resistance
- Write down a common complaint (take it easy) and practice sharing it with your partner. Pick an A and a B.
- A – Start with sharing your feelings about it and then make a request. Remember to be soft, don’t attack, blame or criticize.
- B – Validate and don’t resist what s/he is saying (remember, say things like “I see what you mean” or “Yes, I know I do that…”
The point of this exercise is not to resolve issues but to share and learn that you can listen without resistance and bring up concerns without going on the attack.
Wishing you great love,