Do you ever feel that down deep men are afraid of women? Like they give off these vibes of discomfort, uneasiness, or anxiety about relating to their partners? Like they can never understand or please us? Yet, it also seems that it’s critically important that they make us happy? Why then do men fear commitment?
Well you are picking up on real gender differences. Differences that are not just due to biology, but that are also based on the structure of men’s early childhood experiences. Think about it: Most guys had a woman as their first and primary caretaker in infancy. Their comfort, their happiness, their very survival depended on this all powerful figure. This means to some degree, depending on the progress he has made in psychologically becoming independent, a guy may feel like a little boy in relation to his partner– who symbolically represents his mother. As anthropologist Henrietta Moore put it: All relations are with M(others). No wonder then that many men fear commitment.
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Nowhere is this truer than with a man’s intimate partner. It may be very difficult for a man to remain separate emotionally from his girlfriend—her happiness is his happiness. Just as he felt a need to please his mother, he has that strong need to please his partner. So one big reason why men fear commitment is that they may feel unable to do so.
Bottom line: Don’t worry so much about making him happy! Be sure to enjoy yourself and appreciate what goes on when you are with your boyfriend. Make yourself happy and chances are, if he is into you, he will be happy too. And he will want to take the next step into a deeper commitment and shared happiness with you.
And don’t forget to keep following my Dating Advice for Women Series if you want to learn more about why men play games or why men fear commitment.
Wishing you the greatest love!!!