Dating can be daunting. And when you’re 45 or older, it may seem next to impossible. You might be coming out of a long-term marriage, or emerging from a period where you were consumed with raising children or caring for elderly parents — or, perhaps you still are responsible for kids and/or parents. Have your “dating muscles” atrophied? You may feel like you don’t have the slightest idea how to go about flirting and meeting the opposite sex, much less handling issues of sexually transmitted diseases. You might feel like your body is showing the wear and tear of all those miles. Disrobing in front of a romantic partner? Definitely not.
Plus, today’s dating world doesn’t remotely resemble the one you knew. This brings on worries and negative self talk. How proactive are women in your age group supposed to be? What about HIV? Is online dating reliable, safe, or even right for a Boomer-aged woman? In this youth-obsessed culture can you really compete with younger women?
Yes, it is a whole new world out there. But it is a great world, filled with possibility. We are living longer, healthier lives; there are demographers who claim we should think of middle age as extending all the way to age 85 because of the increasing percentage of men and women who are fully functional at that age! And, the giddy swirl of romantic passion can be just as strong for those over 45 as for those under 25. In this two-part article we’ll look at dating for women over 45. In Part 1, we’ll show you that this new world of dating is full of possibility. In Part 2 we’ll share four dating tips that will change your dating life forever.
Much larger studies of baby boomers have validated that they’ve changed all the rules on dating and sex. Seventy percent of single baby Boomers actively date and 45 percent of men and 38 percent of women between the ages of 40 and 59 have sex once a week. Boomers have also taken to online dating in increasing numbers. Lavalife.com, a dating site known for its younger clientele, reported huge increases in Boomer use from 2003-2009; Match.com indicates that the 50+ single age group is its fastest-growing segment. As of this writing, match.com, seniorpeoplemeet.com and primesingles.net are the most popular sites as measured by number of unique visitors for this age group. And they number in the millions. So your odds of meeting someone great have never been better. We’ll deal specifically with online dating in Part 2.
But before we continue with this new world of possibility I want you take advantage of my free ongoing support: You can learn EXACTLY how to find and attract the one, how to tell the DUDs from the STUDs, how to go from casual to a real commitment and much much more by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE! Click Here to get started now.
The maturity that comes with age opens you to more positive relationships, even with younger men. Starting with the character of forty-something Samantha and her young boyfriend on Sex and The City, the media has helped in recent years to open up a whole new role model: “the cougar,” an older woman who dates or marries a younger guy. The Demi-Ashton phenomenon, made all the more interesting by Demi’s being a single parent, shows that being older and having kids are not death blows to meeting a STUD.
In fact, Australian neuroscientists recently studied people ranging in age from adolescence to their late 70’s and found that the older adults showed “positive changes in the emotional brain.” They had better control of their reactions to other people’s anger, fear and other negative emotions, all of which leads to greater contentment and happiness. The scientists concluded that “becoming mellower” with age is a physiological process that can actually be seen in the brain’s electrical activity and fMRI scans. This mellowing is something that most men appreciate especially as they themselves get older.
Many 45+ women have gone out there and had the adventure and excitement of their teenage years all over again. With the wisdom of their years, they’ve made their lives even better! Anne, a 57 year-old, describes how she met her new husband, Jay, a recent widower who was a friend of a friend:
We were on our way to a concert. Jay drove and I sat up front with him. Within fifteen minutes Jay looked me square in the eyes and said, “Who are you and what are you doing in Southern Montana?” His look and the tone of his voice seemed as if he had found his long lost love at last, reuniting with her after spending millenniums apart. I felt a kinship, intrigued by our many similar delights. I quickly put aside any biases I had about lawyers and we discovered our similar taste in music, ethnic food, travel, love of getting out in nature, philosophy, open minded spiritual exploration, and joy in sharing about our families. This meeting and the synchronicities that brought us together surprised both of us. We have been together ever since.
Many women who are over 45 have created the kind of deeply fulfilling love that offers true friendship along with the chemistry of lovers. Love, of course, is good for us. Research convincingly shows that happily married people and those in long-term committed relationships are healthier both emotionally and physically than singles. An active sex life may lead to a longer life, a better immune system, greater heart health, an improved mood, even the ability to prevent certain cancers and ward off pain. Intercourse typically burns around 200 calories, which is equivalent to running on the treadmill for 30 minutes! Plus, it releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower pain levels.
Women over 45 who are in or have been through our Love Mentoring™ Program often comment that once they really get into dating, they feel more confident, more clear about what they want and therefore, more attractive. They are more empowered and more affluent than ever before. You too can get this type of expert help by contacting me ASAP and I’ll make sure you can have FREE coaching from a trained Love Mentor™ by phone or Skype. If you are over 45, talk to one of my incredible Mentors. Each one has a long background in transformational work, is in a committed lasting love relationship (so they walk the talk) and is closely supervised by me. Most importantly, each Love Mentor is gifted and knows how to help your age group move forward to the love relationship you really want! You can read about an over-50 gal who used love mentoring, married the love of her life and was featured in The New York Times.
The best news is that we can give you an introductory 40 minute one-on-one personalized session by phone or Skype for FREE. No strings attached. Just click here or go to www.lovein90days.com/coaching/ to get your own personal FREE session by phone or Skype ASAP, because the time slots are filling up very fast.
The good news is that often, younger women cannot compete with over-45s for an older guy’s attention. The thirty-somethings are too active and demanding in terms of nightlife and other activities, whereas an over-45 man may prefer the seasoned wise companionship of a woman who has been there and done that. In other words, you are in a position to pick and choose who you want to date, whether it is a younger STUD or an older guy.
So, what are you waiting for? Join the party!
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of the highly-acclaimed new relationship advice book “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” and the best-seller “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book). Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.
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Well, being a guy that prefers older women myself, I suggest that women go online. It’s easier and you never have that fear of rejection. This is abig deal in real life, at least for me.