Create Self-Confidence With This Simple Exercise!

self-confidenceHere’s another self-confidence boosting exercise from my new book, The Diamond Self Secret: Say Good-Bye to Your Inner Critic and Hello to Self-Acceptance, Serenity, and Lasting Love.

“Dear Dr. Diana, I did the Chocolate Cake exercise from The Diamond Self Secret and it was an amazing experience that started shifting my self-confidence level and the way I feel about my body!

I love chocolate cheesecake and as I imagined myself as that oh-so-irresistible dessert, I felt a sensual aliveness, a sexiness that I haven’t felt since my divorce 15 years ago! Even though I have put on 20 pounds, doing the exercise made me somehow feel better about my appearance and more self-confidence. It is mysterious, but I just went to a party and the guys seemed so much more attentive to me. I think I was giving off a completely different vibe. And enjoying every minute of it!” ~Anne

Anne was using one of my favorite exercises, designed to help you get your self-confidence and mojo going, that is, your sensual, sexy body image back (or help you feel it for the first time!). It’s great fun!!! It was developed by one of my awesome Love Mentors, Susan Kalinowski, who calls it the Chocolate Cake Exercise.

First think about your favorite dessert and write about eating it in a savoring way. How you first look at it sitting there on the plate. Your mouth watering in anticipation. Taking a small bite and savoring the explosion of sweetness. How it feels sooo good as you spoon more into your mouth and swallow it down hungrily. There is a sensuous quality in that yummy experience. You can feel the allure of the crème brulee or Vanilla Swiss Almond ice cream!

Now imagine you are in a social situation and you ARE THAT desirable and alluring dessert, just sitting there on the counter. You radiate a look of self-confidence, the smile of the cat that swallowed the canary. A place where you toss your head and raise your eyebrows as if to say, ”Mmmmmm, I am delicious. A sensuality naturally exists in all of us that has a chance to emerge just by thinking you are the dessert.

Give this self-confidence building exercise a try! You might even post a picture of your favorite tiramisu or strawberry cheesecake in your closet or near your bedroom mirror—just to use the imagery to get in the mood and feel irresistible.

Thank you Susan for this simple but effective exercise for boosting self-confidence. And remember you can have a free coaching session with Susan to help you with your self-confidence in or out of relationships. There’s no greater gift you can give yourself.

Wishing you love
Dr. Diana

About Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love", and of the best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.


  1. J T says

    Interesting technique, I will give it a go.

    It shows really how much of an impact self-confidence can have.

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