These days breaking up and divorce have become so socially acceptable that many couples who could work things out wind up dissolving their unions. And often there is a big price to pay. As a psychologist and Love Mentor®, I’ve seen too many people regret ending their relationships. Usually the breaking up process is quite painful. They suffer with financial setbacks, emotional breakdowns and if they have kids, children’s adjustment problems. Often they wind up alone and unhappy for years. And if they are not self-reflective and transform themselves as opposed to blaming their partners, they usually end up making the same mistakes again and again with different partners. If you have any doubts about this, check out the divorce rates for second and third marriages.
But before you take the breaking up quiz, I want you to take advantage of my FREE ongoing support: You can learn EXACTLY how to rekindle the passion in a love relationship, deal with breaking up, heal heartbreak and Find, Attract and Date terrific guys by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE! Just Click Here to get started now.
Now back to our Breaking Up Quiz. Before you leap back into being single contemplate these 20 questions. Be as honest as you can be and preferably ask your best friend, love mentor, sponsor, or therapist to help you answer them honestly.
- Have you searched within to see if you have given your all to this relationship?
- Did you set aside time to be alone as a couple to continue your bond and friendship?
- Were you clear and upfront in explaining what you wanted and needed from your partner?
- Did you make a serious attempt to provide what your partner wanted and needed?
- Have you noticed and appreciated the helpful or caring things he/she has done?
- Have you tried out the viewpoint that everything your partner complains about is legitimate and something you need to be working on?
- Have you tried treating him/her lovingly, the way you would like to be treated?
- Have you checked to see if your partner is growing as a person?
- Is your partner becoming someone who could have a more loving relationship with you?
- Have you worked on forgiving and being forgiven in the relationship?
- If you or your partner had an affair is it this event that is the primary reason for the breakup? Even affairs can be forgiven, if there is true remorse. Many times with the proper counseling the whole relationship can be turned around and get better after an affair.
- Did you express more gratitude or criticism in the relationship?
- Did you tell your partner directly that the problems in the relationship were so severe that you wanted out?
- If there are sexual problems, did you try your best to work on them?
- Did you try to create chemistry and attraction?
- Did you set aside time for sex?
- Did you spend time teaching each other how to give sensual and sexual pleasure?
- Did you spend quality time really listening and paying close attention to your partner?
- Have you made personal changes as per your partner’s suggestions that would be in your best interest?
- Have you seen or spoken to a couples therapist or love mentor and given it your best shot?
If you cannot answer “yes” to most of these questions, reconsider ending the relationship. You may be able to save yourself (and your kids) from huge financial and emotional heartaches. And to help you sort through and work on the issues/behaviors in the breaking up quiz, here’s my gift to you. I just started a highly personalized Love Mentor coaching service. Now you can have one-on-one coaching from a trained Love Mentor who has a long background in transformational work and is closely supervised by me. The best news is, right now, we can give you an introductory 40 minute one-on-one personalized session for FREE. No strings attached. Just Click Here and get your own personal FREE session by phone or Skype asap, because the time slots are filling up very fast. Here’s a letter from Robin who was in our Love Mentoring program. Through love mentoring she stopped herself from breaking up with a great guy and whom she end up marrying:
“Having a Love Mentor was what allowed me to get married. That guidance helped me get over my tendency to blame the other person and wanting to be right. Nurturing loving guidance combined with a firm hand in letting me know when I was being a spoiled brat allowed me to look at my own patterns from a neutral perspective. I learned that I deserve to be supported on all levels, including financially–that I could have a true reciprocal loving partnership. Our wedding was spectacular and I couldn’t be any happier!”
If Robin can do it so can you.
Wishing you love,
Dr. Diana
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a guest psychologist on The Today Show & creator of global free love mentoring sessions, best-selling author of the relationship advice book “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” and “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
So I took the quiz and had yes answers to almost all the questions the problem is that my girlfriend just ended our relationship and will not even talk to me per the advice of her therapist . I know we had a great thing going she just kept saying she was worried about how are families would get along. She insisted that they would not .but we rally never confronted this problem head on and I think that if we all were to work on it it is a solvable problem. How do I get her to see that? I really need your help .
The strategies in the book work well for men too! You just have to be more proactive in the dating.
i read your book and think it will take some work, but I am a guy and i don’t know if your prescriptions work for men. What can men do?